


Of Scars and Wounds

by glitterybluemagic



Series: Of Scars and Wounds [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-01
Updated: 2017-01-15
Packaged: 2018-09-14 13:05:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9183016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glitterybluemagic/pseuds/glitterybluemagic
Summary: Everyone has their stories. Everyone has their own battles





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> so this idea has been in my head for a while but i haven't had the guts to follow through but here we go. i'll be writing one up for each of the main characters and i hope you'll like it!
> 
> hmu on tumblr @glitterybluemagic, i've posted a lot of other stuff i've written on there :)

Most of the scars we have aren’t visible. They run deep in our hearts and they bleed with each pump. Some nights we feel empty and hollow, but on others, we cry and cry till tomorrow. Sometimes it feels like we’re choking with emotions, struggling to breathe. Other times we’re begging to feel something, anything. The next morning we wake up with red-rimmed eyes and clear minds. Our hearts still heavy in our chests. We take in deep, long breaths to ground ourselves back to reality, forcing ourselves to move forward. These scars they don’t ever really fade. They stay with us. They come back to haunt us. They’ll always hurt. But most importantly they change us.

These are the stories of the wounded. Stories of how they were broken and shattered to pieces, how they fought against every battle of their hearts and lost. How they held their heads high and kept moving forward with silent determination in their hearts. These are the stories of how they’ve fallen and how they built themselves back up, even stronger than before. These are the stories of wounded heroes.


	2. Jace

You’re no Lightwood.

Those were the 3 words that have always stayed with him. It reminded him of the wretched childhood he had. The intense trainings and the words his father used to say. It reminded him of how worthless and weak he felt. Today, he may be known as the ultimate protector. Fastest. Strongest. Fiercest. But high praise came with a price and for Jace it was his childhood. On nights when he just can’t fight off the memories with kicks and punches, they drown him completely. It didn’t matter how long he trained or how many demons he managed to kill, eventually, they catch up to him and push him under.

How could he be a protector when he came from such a cruel place? He was taught to kill not protect. He was, in his very core, bad. The Lightwoods were good. They were protectors. They learned to fight to keep people safe. He was not. He was brutal and crass. With every swing of his seraph blade, he takes away a life. Everything he was taught was to keep him, and only him, alive. The Lightwoods may have raised him but he was built to be a killer and you can’t simply erase that kind of darkness.

He was no Lightwood.

So he fights harder every day. He trains to prove to himself that he can be a protector. That he can still be good despite his initial upbringing. He vows, every time he picks up a weapon, that it was to preserve a life, not to end it. 

He’ll make damn sure that he was worth the Lightwood name.


	3. Luke

Cold.

That was the first thing he felt when he changed back. Harsh winds whipping across his face as he clawed his way into the shadows of the forest. He leant back against a tree, panting hard, desperately seeking whatever warmth the remaining foliage would provide. His glowing green eyes were still darting everywhere as if he were hunted.

He ran aimlessly for what seemed like days, not knowing where to go or who to turn to. He was lost and cold. His entire world was taken away from him. His entire being was violently ripped to shreds. The runes he used to wear with pride were lost without a trace. The witchlight he used to carry no longer glowed. Now he was hunted. By the very people who swore to fight alongside him, by the very people he used to love. By his parabatai. The same man he swore an oath to fight beside till the very end. The man who was supposed to lay his life for him when the time comes.

He grew up with a family of warriors. When all hope was lost, he could always rely on his parabatai bond to bring him comfort but now, he had nothing. For the first time, he was truly alone. He was forced into a new reality, completely blind and without guidance. Gone was the glory of being one of the Nephilim, now he was considered as one of the damned. Disgusting. Undeserving.

It took him years before he could accept his fate. Even longer before he accepted himself. Slowly but surely, he became a new man. One he was proud to be. Not because of his blood or status. But because despite being dragged through hell and back, he still had a good heart. He still saw the goodness in others and he still had hope in a world that had brought him so much pain.

He wasn’t damned. He was the furthest thing from disgusting. He was absolutely deserving of the loved he got from Jocelyn, Clary and Simon. Nothing and no one else mattered.


	4. Izzy

Every daughter craves for her mother’s approval.

Isabelle Lightwood was no different. She always looked up to her mother. A strong, powerful woman, whose duty was to protect. She was headstrong and resilient, never backing down from a challenge and always demanded respect. So from a young age, Izzy worked hard. She became New York’s best forensic pathologist, she knew how to operate every piece of tech available and she was one of the best shadowhunters of her generation. She was truly one of the Nephilim’s finest.

But Maryse never cared. Her every achievement was overshadowed by what her mother considered were flaws. As far Maryse was concerned, it didn’t matter if her daughter managed to escape a mission completely unscathed, if she still associated herself with downworlders, she still had weaknesses. If she still dressed in a way Maryse deemed inappropriate, she still wasn’t perfect. Nothing she did was enough but she kept on trying harder. She wanted was her mother to be proud of her. She wanted her mother to be proud of the woman she had become.

It took her a while to realize that it was impossible. If Izzy wanted her mother to be proud of her, she had to become her. She would have to sacrifice her own morals and values in order to gain her mother’s approval. That was the one thing she could not do. As much as Izzy did look up to Maryse, she realized, over the years, that her mother had her own flaws. She was just too young and naïve to have seen it herself.

So Isabelle Lightwood became her own woman. With her own morals and values. She was smart, adaptive and strong in her own ways. She was just as headstrong, resilient and powerful too. No one in the right mind would dare disrespect or demean her for her ties with the downworld or the way she dresses. She stayed true to herself. Her brothers were proud of her and so was her father. Maybe she would never earn Maryse’s pride but it didn’t matter as much anymore. She was proud of who she had become and that was all that mattered.


	5. Clary

Clary remembered bits and pieces of the first few years of her life. She remembered how overprotective Jocelyn used to be. They never really went out. Jocelyn didn’t want to risk being seen by the people she was running from and it was just easier to keep her daughter from harm’s way. She made a living through her art and never stepped out of the house unless absolutely necessary. The only kids around were the ones they met on the way home from the grocery store or art supplies shop. Clary recalled having a hard time fitting in. She could be surrounded by friends but a part of her knew that she never really belonged. No one understood her fascination with the supernatural or her craving for adventure. They’d play along for a while, thinking they were playing a game when Clary said she saw fairies hiding within the bushes, but it didn’t take long before something else catches their attention and Clary was left alone again. The clearest thing she remembered was the feeling of isolation.

It wasn’t until Luke turned up and she met Simon did that feeling stop haunting her. They were the 2 people Jocelyn learned to trust over time and for Clary, they were enough. As far as she could remember, Simon had been by her side since they met and Luke was the one person she could always depend on. Simon was the only kid her age, who would spend an entire day sneaking into locked classrooms or running after Clary who claimed she saw a mermaid in a pond. Luke was always there for each of her milestones. First day at school, first time riding a bike, even the first time she got detention. 

Clary couldn’t be happier. She finally found people she could talk to and feel comfortable with. She no longer felt detached from the rest of the world anymore. They made her feel wanted and loved and whole. There were still nights where she felt empty or out of touch but she could always count on them to bring her back and ground her to reality instead of the past. She was grateful and she vowed to never let anyone else feel the way she did.


End file.
